Sincerely Sandra Articles Ocotillo News - A Guide to Dinner Etiquette, Manners - January 3 - 16, 2004 By Sandra Saoud Improving manners may not be on many top 10 lists of New Year's resolutions, but everyone needs to know the basics when invited to a dinner party. You are invited to Great Aunt Sally's annual dinner party. Is fine china a foreign language to you? Can't remember the last time you ate with sterling silver, since McDonald's is on the menu twice a week? Not crazy about meeting new people? Here are some tips that will keep you a step ahead on manners, party etiquette, and the aftermath of it all. The first step is to RSVP. Always let the guest know who is coming. This allows the host to know how many tables to set and how much food to prepare. Never RSVP for someone who is not invited in the first place. If your invitation did not include "and guest" then you must decide to go by yourself or not at all. When being introduced to a new acquaintance, always extend your hand and give a firm handshake, which shows confidence. And of course, have great eye contact to go with it. Speak loud and clear so the person can hear your name the first time. A secret I always use is to try to repeat the name of the person I am being introduced to, so that I can remember it later. When dinner is served, the first thing you should do is place your napkin on your lap, and wait for Aunt Sally to take the first bite. If you don't think you will like the main course, try some anyway. One tip to remember when dining is to never place a piece of silverware back on the tablecloth once it has been used. Instead, place it on the plate. Another great rule with forks is to use them from the outside to the inside. For example, the salad is served first, so the salad fork is the outer fork; dinner is next, so the middle fork is next; and finally, dessert, using the innermost fork, the one closest to the plate. Never turn your cup or glass upside down if you will not be having any wine or coffee. Simply let the server know you won't be having anything to drink, and they will remove your glass or cup. Then just remember everything your mother told you growing up: keep bites small, don't speak with your mouth full, no elbows on the table, and always offer to clean up when you are through. "Ring, ring." Someone's cell phone is going off while everyone is eating dinner. Always turn off cell phones in all public places and during social gatherings. It is rude to talk on the phone when your attention should be where you are at that moment. This is becoming an on-going bad habit from pre-teens to adults. Turning off your phone is a common courtesy to others around you. When leaving a party, always express your thanks for being included. I suggest sending a thank you note as well. A thank you note should also be sent for every gift you receive regardless of the occasion or the cost of the gift. A thank you should also be sent for appreciation of a favor or deed. Manners and etiquette rules seldom change, so once they are learned they can be used for many years to come. Why not make 2004 your year to improve? This way when your Aunt Thelma has her spring fling, the evening will be a piece of cake.